Its summer soon... the weather is beautiful and here i am, yet again, comming up on the third year of my life, spending my entire days bingeing. Its very surreal to be this seriously bulimic. It has completely taken over my life and its so hard to sit down and actually try to accept that. Im not graduating with my friends this year because I had to spend 3 months in the hospital, and im still not even better. My life is passing me by and im just floating through it, not giving a shit. I have fucked things up so bad its unbelievable but i dont even really care because i keep myself completely numb from everything by continuing to binge and purge constantly. I dont even notice that im killing myself and taking away my future. Its so fucked up. Its a sad, sad life and instead of crying and getting upset because of how tragic it is for someone with as much potential as I have to just throw it all away, I get high, get drunk and forget all of my problems because that is soo much easier. And I keep doing it, I dont stop, Ive given up. 3 fucking years, how the fuck am i going to change this? Ive lost everything.